My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize