We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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