He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
