he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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