I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
