Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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