Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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