Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize