ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
