it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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