Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have so many feelings about this burrito
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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