whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
