Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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