All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
