how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
