my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
