I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
