you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
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