I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
