that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
