Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
