Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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