Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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