I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
