something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
