my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
where are my eyebrows?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
