You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
