All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I faked an abortion last night.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
