As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
