this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
