I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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