Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just found a bag of teeth...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
