I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
