she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
