So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
