FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
