Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
