Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize