Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i need some magic done to my vagina
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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