Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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