ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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