im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
