What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
