AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
