The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm too high and old for this...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
