I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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