Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
