I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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