I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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