I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
