Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
