barbara walters just said penis...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
