I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
