this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
