Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
