apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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