you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
