remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
