Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
